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2009 Uplander no start, no crank, blows horn

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Uplander 2005-2009
This sport-van offers a sporty feel and roomy interior, all in the body of a minivan.
Platform: U-Body

2009 Uplander no start, no crank, blows horn

Old May 14th, 2019, 1:44 PM
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Default 2009 Uplander no start, no crank, blows horn

This is more of an info post, rather than a question post. Other people may run into the same thing and think it's some big electronics problem. I don't think it's an electronics problem at this stage of the game, but I'll see how it behaves over the next few days. I bought this 2009 Uplander 3.9L a couple of years ago from my parents. They bought it new. It has 178,000 kms. on it. Mom is too old to remember if this thing ever had a battery put in it. It has a AC Delco batt in it instead of an off brand, so it could be original. That would be pretty good getting 10 years out of a batt. So, my daughter drove this thing home from work the other night and parked it in the driveway, nothing out of the ordinary, it started fine at her work, drove fine, whatever, all was good. My wife gets in it the next morning to take off, and the thing won't crank. She turns the key and the horn blows once, click under the hood, door locks go crazy, and nothing else happens. Radio works, headlights are reasonably bright, I didn't really check anything else because it was pouring rain. Wife then tells me that lately the theft alarm has been going off after she locks it with the door panel button, closes the door and starts to walk away. She gets 10 feet away, and the horn starts going. She has to unlock the van and get the key in the ign. to shut it off. The remote on the key fob won't do it. As a side note, the key fobs weren't working for quite some time, so I did the 'put the tin foil on the insides of the buttons' trick. Thinking that maybe that tin foil slipped around in there, I took it all out yesterday. I don't know where we are with all that just yet, the next few weeks will tell. I came on here to get some ideas, and people are talking about the anti theft system getting turned on by mistake, or after battery replacement the anti theft got turned on, etc. I read about putting the key in the ign, try to start, then let the key spring back to run position for 10 mins., shut if off, then try to start. So I ran out in the rain to give it a shot. So I'm sitting there with the key in the run position, and I'm playing with the dash info, and I notice the batt volts are at 8.8 and dropping. What the? it drops to all the way to 8.0v. Alright, there's the problem, the batt is toast, good enough. The rain let up yesterday, so I go to check this thing out a little more. Use a voltmeter to check right at the batt posts, and there's 12.2 volts in it. What the? I should've checked the volts at the clamps to see for bad connections, but it slipped my mind. I was expecting to see something a lot lower than what was there, so it threw me off a bit. I try to start it, no horn blow, door locks are fine, and it cranks over once, then done. I put a booster pack on it, and it fired right up. Charging at 15v according to the dash. Let it run for about 5 mins, shut it off, and it starts right up again on its own, no booster. Took it for a 10 mins drive, got home, it starts right up 5 times. Now charging at 14.2v. So at this point I'm not sure if its a bad batt or a bad connection at the batt. All the posts look clean and also the main feed that goes to the fuse/relay box, but I take everything apart and clean them all. Put a battery charger on for 6 hours, and then let it sit over night. This morning the batt is at 12.8 with voltmeter. It starts right up and was charging at 14.4 on the dash. I sit there and rev it up for a bit and watch the dash reading drop to 12.6v, hmmm, so I turn a few loads on to see if the alt will respond, and it did. Headlights, rear window defog, and blower on high, and the alt brought the dash reading back up to 14.4, so thats all working. I think at this point I'm probably looking at a new battery, there's probably a cell going bad in there, but I'll drive it myself for a few days, carrying my booster pack around, and see what it does. What was throwing me at first was the horn blowing, and the door locks going nutz while trying to start it, but when batteries are low, all kinds of stupid stuff starts happening because all the computers and modules can't talk to each other properly. Also, not sure how much parasitic draw is on the batt while sitting. It's supposed to be no more than 50 milliamps if I remember, but at this point I have no way of testing the actual parasitic draw. I have a clamp on ammeter, but it will only do AC, not DC. I'll look through all my old digital meters to see what I have that will work. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give detailed info for the next person having similar findings. I'll post back here in a few days to say if anything changed or if I buy a battery for it.

Last edited by wrenchgear; May 14th, 2019 at 2:38 PM.
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Old May 14th, 2019, 2:39 PM
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paragraphs please.
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Old May 21st, 2019, 3:38 PM
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So, here we are one full week later. The van has been functioning as it should be. There have been no problems what so ever. I have not done anything more to it in the last week. Everything seems fine at this point. If anything more comes of this, I will be sure to come back and report on whats happening.

On a side: it's too bad that Irish_alley finds things difficult to read without paragraphs, but comments like that are to be expected from people who just recently join a forum and want to try and run the place. I'm not posting here to be grammar corrected like at high school, I'm trying to give info to people who might need help. You're lucky I'm not writing this by hand, because my mechanicease is about as legible as your average Dr. He has submitted about 5 posts per day since he joined 4 months ago, he must have an opinion on just about everything.
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Old May 21st, 2019, 6:54 PM
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take it as its worth, but did you notice anyone else commenting on your post. after over 177 views you would think someone would comment besides me. im not trying to be a grammar ****, just a break in the writing was all im asking for. and about the 5 post per day, ive been slacking its normally about 6. but if you must know i am a moderator on here just like on http://forum.73-87chevytrucks.com that i been moderating for years now. i just joined this site for help on one of my newer trucks and noticed they needed help with moderating and was able to use that site as a reference. on that other site i must admit i dont have that much to talk about and only average 3.4 post a day. but then they only work on the 73-87 chevy trucks over there. i do give a lot of opinions but most times its from first hand experience from working on my other trucks and one car. as you can also see i have 8+ vehicles but only 4 are on the road and thats mainly because the insurance cost and registration fees.

i must add that i dont intend on causing any bad feelings and im not trying to "troll" anyone. just was trying to say you might have a few more responses if only there was a few breaks and i do apologize for any misunderstandings

Last edited by Irish_alley; May 21st, 2019 at 9:07 PM.
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Old May 21st, 2019, 11:18 PM
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No problem. It so happens that I'm a senior poster on a different forum for quite a few years, where my post count is almost at 10,000. The first line of my post here said that I wasn't asking a question, but rather giving some info. I wasn't looking for, or really expecting any feedback on my post.
And yes. looking back on it, it was a long post that could've been broken up a bit to make it easier on the eyes. At least though, I did come back for a follow up post and comment as compared to people who never come back, but instead leave their post hanging and don't provide any info on their fixes or outcomes.
No hard feelings here, and no misunderstandings. I'll give you a fist bump, and we'll call it a day.
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Old May 22nd, 2019, 3:22 PM
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i will admit i didnt even bother reading it as soon as i saw the big paragraph, i knew halfway through it i would just give up. it is nice to have people follow-up on their topics especially if theyre trying to help others
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